Kaden,
Today is June 15th, 2014. I just wanted to say, I love you. There is no real reason for wanting to write you today. There is no special event in our lives or spiritual experience that has happened. Life just moves on. Your little brother Eli is crawling all over the place. He loves to be held and cuddled by me. I love to cuddle him back.
I can't wait to cuddle you. I can't wait to see you crawl. I can't wait to hold you. And I know in heaven these things will all come true. I am so blessed to know this. You are going to be my heaven baby. I love you.
I still look at your shadow box every night. I think about you before I go to bed. You are my first born. You are my perfect son. I love you.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
5th birthday
I can't believe you would be 5 today. Happy Birthday Son. I know you came down and visited us while we celebrated your special day. I love your special day. It gives me a reason to watch your video, look at your book, and remember you.
I have been talking about you for the last couple of day to Micah and Savannah. They were both so excited to have a birthday party and make a cake. While we were singing to you Micah asked, "Is Kaden going to come down and eat some cake?"
Savannah responded, "He is in heaven Micah!"
We miss you.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
The Christmas Box
Kaden,
I just got done reading a book called, "The Christmas Box" that made me think about you. I thought I would have been more emotional when reading this book because it is about a mother who lost a child. The mother keeps writing letters to her lost daughter and keeps then in "The Christmas Box". It is called the Christmas Box because Heavenly Father gave His Son away on the first Christmas many years ago.
This book reminded me that I WILL see you again. I will get to be your Mother in heaven. God knows I lost a son. God lost (or gave away freely) His Son. God knows what it feels like to lose a child. He also knows us individually. He knows who is strong enough to handle a trial like this and he knows what children a righteous enough to come back to heaven early.
Kaden, I love you and miss you. I wish I could cry more when I think of you. I wish I would have cried in this book. But my testimony is strong. You made it strong. I love you.
Love Mom
I just got done reading a book called, "The Christmas Box" that made me think about you. I thought I would have been more emotional when reading this book because it is about a mother who lost a child. The mother keeps writing letters to her lost daughter and keeps then in "The Christmas Box". It is called the Christmas Box because Heavenly Father gave His Son away on the first Christmas many years ago.
This book reminded me that I WILL see you again. I will get to be your Mother in heaven. God knows I lost a son. God lost (or gave away freely) His Son. God knows what it feels like to lose a child. He also knows us individually. He knows who is strong enough to handle a trial like this and he knows what children a righteous enough to come back to heaven early.
Kaden, I love you and miss you. I wish I could cry more when I think of you. I wish I would have cried in this book. But my testimony is strong. You made it strong. I love you.
Love Mom
Your little Brother
Kaden,
I am sorry that I haven't written in a long time. I am now realizing that I only write on your birthday (which is coming soon). But I do think about you often. During Christmas I tend to think of you more as we have your stocking hanging in our front room. And when the kids or friends see the extra stocking they ask questions. But I love the questions because I love to talk about you.
Life has been busy lately. Leif has been going on interview and just signed a contract in Lewiston Idaho. We will be moving in June. The twins continue to get older and wiser. AND you now have another brother. Eli Paul Kanooth was born on November 8th 2013. He came 5 weeks early and when your father was out of town. He was a big baby and continues to be a very good baby. I know you will have a lot of fun with Eli in heaven. I am sure you meet him already. This is a picture of his blessing day.
I wish you were in the picture... I miss you.
Love Mom
I am sorry that I haven't written in a long time. I am now realizing that I only write on your birthday (which is coming soon). But I do think about you often. During Christmas I tend to think of you more as we have your stocking hanging in our front room. And when the kids or friends see the extra stocking they ask questions. But I love the questions because I love to talk about you.
Life has been busy lately. Leif has been going on interview and just signed a contract in Lewiston Idaho. We will be moving in June. The twins continue to get older and wiser. AND you now have another brother. Eli Paul Kanooth was born on November 8th 2013. He came 5 weeks early and when your father was out of town. He was a big baby and continues to be a very good baby. I know you will have a lot of fun with Eli in heaven. I am sure you meet him already. This is a picture of his blessing day.
I wish you were in the picture... I miss you.
Love Mom
Friday, January 4, 2013
4th Birthday
Dear Kaden,
To start off Happy 4th Birthday. Your Aunt Darryn called me last week and told me that one of her friends lost twins at 21 weeks. Darryn asked me to call Stephanie and talk with her about her loses. AND talking to Stephanie made me realize 2 things I never thought about before.
#1 Losing you was the hardest trial I had ever been through. I was depressed, angry, alone, in pain, and questioning God's plan. I was confused why God would take you away from me. I was upset at life. Now 4 years later I realize that you are a huge Blessing in our family. I no longer see your death as a trial but a blessing. You are a part of family. You are remembered. You are our guardian angel. You are the reason that I press on, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end. Kaden, because of you I have a purpose in Heaven. I am so excited and blessed to raise you in Heaven.
#2 Stephanie asked me, "When will I stop missing my babies?". I replied without even thinking, "Never." And then I thought about it.... Kaden, I still miss you. I look at your shadow box daily and think of you. You were my perfect baby. I miss you always. I miss everything we could have done together and all the memories we could have shared. I miss you today and I will miss you until my mortal bodies leaves my spirit and I will get to see you again.
It is strange to think that today you would be 4 years old. What a big boy you would be. I want you to know that you were in my heart all day long. In the morning I told the twins it was your birthday and we sung to you. Savannah loves singing the birthday song and sang to you all day long. I got out your blog-book and showed pictures of you to Micah and Savannah. They would point to your picture and say, "baby".
Today I made you a Loin cake. Micah helped me decorate it. We then bought a lot of balloons and blow horns. We sang you happy birthday and blew our horns. It was a good tasting cake. I know you would have loved it.
Kaden, Happy Birthday. I am so thankful that I get to make you a cake each year and think about you. I miss you, and wish things could have turned out differently but, I know that you are OK. And I am sorry that I don't have any pictures. This blog wont let me upload anymore pics.
Love, Your earthly mother
To start off Happy 4th Birthday. Your Aunt Darryn called me last week and told me that one of her friends lost twins at 21 weeks. Darryn asked me to call Stephanie and talk with her about her loses. AND talking to Stephanie made me realize 2 things I never thought about before.
#1 Losing you was the hardest trial I had ever been through. I was depressed, angry, alone, in pain, and questioning God's plan. I was confused why God would take you away from me. I was upset at life. Now 4 years later I realize that you are a huge Blessing in our family. I no longer see your death as a trial but a blessing. You are a part of family. You are remembered. You are our guardian angel. You are the reason that I press on, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end. Kaden, because of you I have a purpose in Heaven. I am so excited and blessed to raise you in Heaven.
#2 Stephanie asked me, "When will I stop missing my babies?". I replied without even thinking, "Never." And then I thought about it.... Kaden, I still miss you. I look at your shadow box daily and think of you. You were my perfect baby. I miss you always. I miss everything we could have done together and all the memories we could have shared. I miss you today and I will miss you until my mortal bodies leaves my spirit and I will get to see you again.
It is strange to think that today you would be 4 years old. What a big boy you would be. I want you to know that you were in my heart all day long. In the morning I told the twins it was your birthday and we sung to you. Savannah loves singing the birthday song and sang to you all day long. I got out your blog-book and showed pictures of you to Micah and Savannah. They would point to your picture and say, "baby".
Today I made you a Loin cake. Micah helped me decorate it. We then bought a lot of balloons and blow horns. We sang you happy birthday and blew our horns. It was a good tasting cake. I know you would have loved it.
Kaden, Happy Birthday. I am so thankful that I get to make you a cake each year and think about you. I miss you, and wish things could have turned out differently but, I know that you are OK. And I am sorry that I don't have any pictures. This blog wont let me upload anymore pics.
Love, Your earthly mother
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Your 3rd Birthday
Happy Birthday Son. Today you would be 3 years old!!! Your birth date has become a very special day in our family. I never thought that your death date would be a time of celebration, but it is. It has become a day where we think of you, we pray for you, and have a party (because we know that is what you would want us to do). It has become a day that I cherish.
Today I made a birthday you a birthday cake in the shape of a giraffe. I was going to make you are Lion but thought giraffes are cuter. I then took your brother and sister to the store and we bought balloons, hats, and blow toys. In line Micah was holding the birthday hats. A man saw what we were buying, and asked whose birthday it was. I told him we were having a birthday party for Micah's brother. It felt so good saying that. We were having a party for Micah and Savannah's brother.
When we got home I set up the dinner table so everyone had a blow toy and hat. We then blew up the balloons and the twins started playing with them. When Daddy came home we ate dinner, and sang Happy Birthday to you. Savannah & Micah both got their own piece of cake and loved it.
.
Kaden, I love you. I love having a day where I can think about you all day. I watched your viedo and read your blog today. I cried watching the viedo. But it wasn't a sad crying. I was happy for the memory of you. I was happy for the whole experience. I am happy. You were with us for 24 weeks. I grew to love you in these short weeks. I find joy in knowing that I will be your mother in the next life. I look forward to hugging you. I look forward to raising you. I am happy today knowing this. I love the plan of Salvation and the joy it brings.
Today I made a birthday you a birthday cake in the shape of a giraffe. I was going to make you are Lion but thought giraffes are cuter. I then took your brother and sister to the store and we bought balloons, hats, and blow toys. In line Micah was holding the birthday hats. A man saw what we were buying, and asked whose birthday it was. I told him we were having a birthday party for Micah's brother. It felt so good saying that. We were having a party for Micah and Savannah's brother.
When we got home I set up the dinner table so everyone had a blow toy and hat. We then blew up the balloons and the twins started playing with them. When Daddy came home we ate dinner, and sang Happy Birthday to you. Savannah & Micah both got their own piece of cake and loved it.
.
Kaden, I love you. I love having a day where I can think about you all day. I watched your viedo and read your blog today. I cried watching the viedo. But it wasn't a sad crying. I was happy for the memory of you. I was happy for the whole experience. I am happy. You were with us for 24 weeks. I grew to love you in these short weeks. I find joy in knowing that I will be your mother in the next life. I look forward to hugging you. I look forward to raising you. I am happy today knowing this. I love the plan of Salvation and the joy it brings.
Happy Birthday Son.
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